Been Having Some Weird Days

They're quite annoying actually.  These are days that I am letting my emotions get the best of me.  There are just some days where I am just sad...for no reason.  There may be some underlying reason...a few actually.  The issue is it's just not one thing.  It's a bunch of crap raining on my parade.  Like I said...annoying. 

I had a nice argument with myself this morning/afternoon.  I pretty cussed myself out, called myself names, and put myself down for not taking any initiative with my life.  Oh yeah...I am harder on myself more than ANYONE out there in this here world.  I find it funny that I had this little 'talk' with myself today.  I only seem to do it when I'm having 'one of those days'.  Other days I'm good to go and taking care of business...the majority of the time.  It doesn't matter when I do it...I need to stop doing it.  It's not healthy.

I have these 'moments' when I feel stuck and I haven't figured out how to get unstuck.  Eventually I figure it out but until then I'm ripping myself a new one trying to get motivate to get it together.  It worked in the past...not so much nowadays.  What am I feeling stuck on now?  Living with my sister and her boyfriend and they're newborn baby.  (1) I feel like I'm in the way.  (2) I don't have my own anything.  Actually those should be reverses.  The main issue with me at the moment is that I do not have my own anything.  Working on all types of angles to get my own.  Nothing is materializing...so I'm stuck.

Trust and believe that I will get to where I need to be to have my own and be merry.  Since this is the first time for me not having my own it's a bit hard to swallow.  My 'moments' have been longer and harder to get out of.  New surroundings are great but if the same issue is still present then it needs to be dealt with.  So...

I picked up the Maryland Real Estate Practice and Law book so I can study.  I can tell it's going to be a dry read but hey it needs to be done.  I sent an email to a technology temp recruiter seeing if there were any opening...I'm going to do this every week.  I've found a few places that peek my interest here.  Love Borders...will be spending some time there.  There is also a library around here that I haven't made it to yet but will.  I need to spend more time outside of this apartment.  The issue I may run into is my spending.  It looks like everything I like to do is going to cost.  I need to find free things to do here that are close...gas in the Jeep counts and most things are pretty far away. 

See...some progress.  I just need to get past my 'moments' with a bit more finesse and grace.  Working on it.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.