A Front...

I don't know how long it takes to get over someone...especially when you felt you loved them. It's just sad that I'm not. I so want to be. I'm sick of this constant pain. Yes CONSTANT! I do go on with my days. Some days are great...others are not so great. I can have the best day of my life and still have that pain. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of going through my days like everything is alright all the time. It surely is not...but it will be in time. All I need is time.

Something else that is irritating me to no end. I am CONSTANTLY reminded of this Man! Whether it be in church, my mother's old family bible, the freaking TV and radio, and other things. I am hoping that it is a test from the Lord to help me through this crap. I don't see what else it could mean. Surely we are not meant to be together again and till the end of time (insert hysterical laugh). Nah man! We had our chance. We both did some things to screw it up. Truth be told we shouldn't have gotten back together after we broke up the first time. I was too hurt and too guarded to put in any effort...way too cautious. By the time I finally came around it was too late. They say that if you expect something to happen long enough it will. I lived like the bottom was going to fall right from under me...it finally did.

Unfortunately I need to continue on with this front of mine for a bit longer. I've learned to go on with the pain. Soon me continuing to go on will diminish the pain until there is no more pain. I am so looking forward to that. Yes that day will come!

Ok...thanks for tuning in to another pathetic blog about my heartbreak and me coping with it. I promise this will not last long. Goodnight all.